HELP: 4 things to do if your son is looking at porn

Creative Commons: Quinn Dombrowski

Creative Commons: Quinn Dombrowski

The availability of porn is at an all time high.  The internet allows for an endless consumption of whatever the flesh is craving.  Students are vulnerable to these temptations as they are in front of technology for large amounts of time.  How do you help your kid if you discover they are surfing the web to find porn?  Here are a few suggestions we recommend:  

1. Create space to confront

Honest dialogue is critical to the process of your child dealing with the issue.  It can be uncomfortable for a parent and a bit unnerving to deal with an issue of this kind.  I don’t think any parent is prepared for the fact that your son is changing and having these kinds of desires and curiosity.  Put your emotions aside and deal with your shock at another time.  Love your son through this challenge and make it clear that porn has no benefits and will not be tolerated in this family.  Help them understand that these women are real people and someone’s daughter or mother. God loves them and this isn’t His plan for their lives.  

2. Limit access to their phone or computer

Students do not need to be on their phones or computers 24 hours a day.  Shut the computers and phones off at a certain time at night and put them in your bedroom.  If they are dabbling on the internet at midnight, they are increasing their chances exponentially of stumbling into territory that is detrimental.  They may accuse you of being ridiculous, but do all you can to protect them during a vulnerable season of their lives.  

3. Utilize software like covenant eyes or XXXchurch

These software programs are good for accountability.  They either block questionable sites or notify accountability partners that sites are being visited that contain pornographic material.  These software programs aren’t the answer to the problem, but one more line of defense to help discourage entering a minefield.  

4. Positive male interaction is a must

Isolation can feed the struggle with lust.  Men need to be in relationship with other men. If there is a block with a son opening up to his dad, there may be a need for another Christian man to be involved.  Your son may be able to relate to a volunteer in the student ministries and feel comfortable sharing about his struggle.  Talk to the student ministries leader about men they would recommend to connect with your son.