We talk about men a lot at Refuge for Women. It is common for questions to be asked like, "what does a decent guy even look like" or "would anyone still be willing to date me with the past that i have?" Men have been a commodity to our guests for companionship, money, status, and more. Unfortunately, these relationships have been abusive in many ways and the effects of them have been long-term. We designed a class specifically around this topic of "what does a Godly man look like and where can you find him?" Our guests have been told one place that good guys don't hang around is strip clubs, calling escort services, or picking up prostitutes. For many of our guests it is hard to wrap their brains around the idea that good guys exist and not all men hire women for sexual services.
Guests aren't allowed to date while in Refuge for Women. When some of them first learn of this rule it is a line in the sand for them. The question is pondered "is my healing worth letting go of this individual that supposedly loves me?" Many of them choose to let go and enter into a year of being single. In fact, we take it a step further and encourage a second year of singleness.
One of our graduates recently reached out to us and asked if she could bring a man over to meet us. She is fond of him and considering a long term relationship. The decisions she has made about men in the past have been questionable and the relationships haven't lasted. She wanted to see if we approved of him and if he was marriage material.
I can't tell you the joy in my heart that she trusted our opinion enough to drive him over an hour to meet us. We promised her that we would be honest and her future matters enough to us that if we can provide wisdom we would. I have included a picture of the dinner and everyone in attendance. She was brave to bring him in front of this group. I hope I can display the same amount of courage that Frances did last Saturday night.