Embracing Singleness


Coming from a sexually abusive relationship, I can understand how someone who has been in the sex trafficking industry might struggle with their new singleness after going through the program. 

We naturally revert back to our old familiar way of life. Not because we want it but because it is what we knew for so long. I can tell you first hand that I was holding on to the hope of getting back into that relationship with both hands. It was the last thing I gave over to God, but once I did the weight lifted immediately. 

My lifestyle however didn’t change immediately. Just being transparent here. I found myself in another relationship and even though he wasn’t abusive, I realized after a few months, that I wasn’t living the life God wanted for me. I was still giving in to what society says is normal when you are in a relationship. It is all I knew until I learned there was another way.  God’s way.

I needed to stop dating to give myself time to work on my relationship with God and see what He wanted for me. I needed to respect my body as a temple of Christ and put on the whole armor of God to protect me from the enemy that tried to trip me up and keep me down.

I encourage you to embrace the times of loneliness and use it to dive into scripture about the subject. Take time to ask God to give you understanding about why you are alone and what He specifically wants for you during this season. What can you learn from the truth of His word? Don’t worry about what anyone thinks. God is the only Master we need to please. It is empowering to stand up for what you know God wants for you and not give in to the same old ways. 

In I Corinthians 7:32-35 Paul gives three reasons why it is generally preferable for single people to remain unmarried. The third reason, highlighted in these scriptures, is due to earthly distractions. A single person can devote more time to serving God. This doesn’t mean it is wrong for someone to marry. But is pointing out a clear fact that a single person without earthly responsibilities to someone else can spend more time working on their relationship with God and serving Him.  

Since I have been single and out of the dating scene for the last several years I can attest to this being true in my life. It gave me time to figure out who I was, what my Heavenly Father wanted for me and time to work on our relationship. 

That doesn’t mean I won’t meet someone someday but my time with God has given me a new perspective on the qualities I would want and not want in any future relationships. I have had what the enemy dished out and want nothing else to do with that kind of life. I’d rather remain single. 

If you are struggling with singleness or loneliness, spend some time praying over these verses. Ask God to give you the discernment and understanding of how He wants you to apply and live this out in your own life. 

If we work on our relationship with God first and foremost before we go looking for someone else to fill the gaps of loneliness and heartache, He will give us enough to overflow into the lives of others. At the right time He will send someone as a companion for us if it is His will.

The key is to begin each day being grateful for what we have now, being close to our Heavenly Father and letting go of the things we think we want to accept the things God has planned for us.  He always knows best.

It is my prayer that we understand the depth of His love and the lengths He will go to bring us home. He alone erases the shame and shifts the blame so we can experience ultimate freedom in Christ. 

And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. Ephesians 3:18

Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? ! Corinthians 6:19

Angela K. Crow

Faith Walk Ministries, Inc.