HOPE for the Flowers

  catapillar to butterfly


            “How could she risk the only life she knew when it seemed so unlikely she could ever be a glorious winged creature?” This question in the book stopped me, and I read it over and over, realizing that is the question my heart is asking. This is where I am in my life. Honestly, as I was reading this story, I felt as if I was reading my own.

            I am the caterpillar. I have lived a safe life of crawling around, but became dissatisfied, longing for more. I saw other caterpillars having fun and being carefree, and I wanted to know how they felt. I joined their climb, not really knowing what I was climbing toward. But I am also much like the yellow caterpillar; something inside me keeps bringing me back to the ground, knowing that climb isn’t for me. The book referred to it as a “peculiar hope.” I feel that inside of me. I don’t understand it, but I think it is God wooing and pursuing my spirit.

            I could relate to so much of this story. It was simply told, but had profound depth. It is the story of me; I am the “caterpillar who has trouble becoming what she really is.” It almost seems too good to be true that the life I’ve always dreamed of-that of a butterfly-could actually be inside of me, within my grasp. I see “butterflies”-like Jewellan- and I want that freedom, that life of beauty. But I don’t believe in myself enough to get there. I believe that such butterflies were once caterpillars, but I don’t see how I can get there. I have been a caterpillar for so long…and I’ve lost my hope of becoming a butterfly. I haven’t really felt the desire to soar, to live in freedom for some time. That is, until I met a bold, beautiful butterfly who reminded me I want to have wings too.

            It is my hope that the Refuge will be my “cocoon”, my in-between house, as described in the story. The cocoon is not an escape, but an in-between house where the change takes place. And the Refuge is not an escape…but a place to stay during the metamorphosis of me. I’m hoping to have the transformation from the caterpillar that I am to the butterfly I am meant to be while I’m here.


You Are

You are My daughter, whom I have ransomed and redeemed.

Precious, Beloved, you have been set free.

The world is in your hands, you can have anything;

Don’t you see you are a daughter of the King?

You have been born royalty!

This is your birthright, if you believe.

But I won’t force you to stay, you may leave.

My heart will be broken if you reject your identity.

You are My beloved daughter, for whom I risked everything.

You are free to have the life you choose,

I love you enough to give you freedom.

But Oh My beloved daughter, for whom I risked everything.

You are free to have the life you choose,

I love you enough to give you freedom.

But Oh My beloved daughter, I hope you choose Me.

I will give you ALL things, more than your heart could ever dream.

I want the  best for you, because you are Mine.

I have anticipated your arrival since the beginning of time.

Everything you see I have made for you,

Your have access to all that is in view and more.

Oh daughter, if only you knew what I have in store.

Written by Jennifer - a grateful Refuge guest - October 2013