I am a recovering heroin addict; I’ve been clean for over three months now.  I started using heroin because my life had become unfathomably painful.  The drugs alleviated some of the hurt I felt.  The relief heroin provided me was short lived – after a while it caused more hurt than it helped.  When I first entered recovery I wrote a poem that reflected this,

“You were the secret glue that held me together

And you reassured me with promises of forever

But the most colorful dreams soon become nightmares

And you gave artful form to heinous fears

I started selling my body

Just to pay for my hobby

Getting on a pole to dance

Just to afford your sick romance

With belts and bruises you’d find my vein

Your brown sugar words took away the pain

I gave you my twisted universe

And as thanks you threw my life in reverse

Your needles and niceties found my vein

But those brown sugar words drove me insane

I made you my devious god

Why didn’t you tell me you were a fraud?”

            The story doesn’t end there though.  I found something much better than drugs to relieve my emotional turmoil – I found God.  I was listening to the radio one day and a Skillet song came on that perfectly expressed how I feel, “You’re better than drugs, your love is like wine.”  I no longer have to use because my God is so much better than any drug.

Written by Kristen, Guest at Refuge