Back at the Farm

Four months ago, I left the Refuge.  At the time, I was feeling very angry, hurt, and rejected.  I was also very stubborn, prideful, and unwilling to admit that my being dismissed from the program was a result of my own wrong choices.  After being dismissed, I spent three months living in self-will and trying to do life on my own terms.  That turned out poorly, to say the least.  My life was ridiculously out of control (reminiscent of the way my life looked before I came to the Refuge for the first time), but I’m honestly grateful for how bad things got because it helped me reach the end of myself and ask for help. About a month ago, I called Jewellan and asked her if I could come back to the Refuge.  Without hesitating, she said yes.  I don’t know if I’ve ever felt as much unconditional love from a person as I have from her.  The night she picked me up from the bus stop, the first words she said to me were, “Welcome home!”

I really am home now that I’m back at the farm.  I’m living with a houseful of my sisters in Christ, spending time with mentors and parent figures, and getting to know Jesus on a deeper level.  Some days are still really hard, but I’m so grateful to be here because I know that no matter how difficult it is for me to be here, it’s way more difficult to try and live my life outside the will of God.

-A Refuge Guest Returned